Alicia – part oneish

So wassup peeps #slides in excuse as to why I haven’t bin writing # so moving on, it’s precisely 12am and the rain is just starting, thank goodness cos the heat was starting to get to me… Yes  there’s no light obviously, I am still waiting for the change y’all have bin screaming to affect phcn thou… Anyways the title of this one probably has nothing to do with it, and its freakishly long hence the breaking into two parts, I may have gotten rusty but bleeeh ion curr. .soo moving on read the story biko..
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“I will stay, I will be with you, I will make you fall for me, I will cross all your hurdles, I will make it seem u are the only woman on earth with the amount of love I will give u, I will stand by you, then when I am completely certain u have fallen for me , on the day u need me the most, the day you finally decide it’s me you want, and it’s me you can’t do without…
I will leave you hanging dry, i will make sure I shatter your miserable heart into a million pieces u fucking whore from the pit of hell…
And then I will hope you die in misery… and hopefully i shall be watching this happen with glee and utmost joy in my eyes, and when misery does take you, i shall make sure your tombstone clearly states- here lies a stupid b***h.

As I walked around aimlessly towards where she was supposed to be, I started recounting the events that brought me here, she said she was going to be busy with stuff today, she said she was going to call when she was done, I waited and waited but time seemed to have become slower than usual, nay I am not going to call her I said to myself, have some dignity, I used to have self control, I can do this I thought….

I rolled on my bed, I  saw every movie I could but like a magnet being pulled to metal I just had to call her and before I knew what was happening I picked my phone and dialled her number, my heart in my throat as I heard the thump thump, in anticipation of her melodic voice….

The phone rang for a bit and was cut off…. I tried again and her number wasn’t reachable,  I tried and tried again, and I thought to myself , what if she was in trouble? What if she had being kidnapped! What if she was with another man? What if she lied to me!
Dammmn I hated it when I couldn’t hear her voice…

I had to check for myself #No another voice said to me, No not another voice, it was the man I used to be, I heard the cocky. Aggressive and yet subtle voice faintly scream…
Sit down!! You snivelling excuse for a man, she’s fine and she’s playing you, we are better than this, pick your ego up you dumb fuck…

But I was beyond listening, I quickly combed my hair as I ran out the house, I hadn’t even bathed neither did I brush my teeth, it was 5-30pm already, and she said she was gonna call me back by 3 and meet up, that was after I called her by 8am when I woke up…

So hell yh I was tired of waiting, I walked in quick steps and I headed over to where she was meant to be, I called her number on my way there but there was still no answer …

I began to quicken my steps, people looked at me like a demented man bit I was past caring, my baby was probably in danger… I slowed down my steps a bit as I was getting closer to where she was supposed to be editing her documents… I stood opposite like a thief and then I saw her.

I saw her sitting, she wasn’t done yet. A pang of relief passed through me, at least she didn’t lie to me , at least she was being honest, pheeew the feeling was relieving, I quickly ducked as she was about to look towards my direction, Relief swept through me and I felt so stupid for doubting her, I felt so stupid for coming out there..Then I saw the hands on her leg, and I saw her smile as she leaned in to kiss him…

I honestly could have died, I could have rushed in there to cause a scene but the man I once was screamed within me with so much authority that I had to stop #dont you dare go there you Buffon… Let me handle this he said, or rather I said…and I let love go for a second as the egocentric narcissist I used to be take charge…

With a clear eye and thought pattern I brought out my phone and called her number as I looked at her from my vantage point, she looked at her phone, made a funny face, turned the phone to her lover as I read her lips mouth the words.. Arrgh this feminine man won’t let me breathe, the man said something I couldn’t pick up from where I was and they both burst out in laughter…

The man I used to be smiled as he let me take over again, I will handle this he said, this is where I thrive, get yourself up and let’s head home…

Like a broken man, i walked back home And then the thoughts began to come, realizing what I had become, I was whipped, i had become what i never thought i would become in my life… weak pathetic and a useless stalker, this was the height.  She only had to tell me to jump and I would have asked how high. At this moment I could have cried because  the realization hit me and in layman words it meant , I was finished.
I began to drift in thought on my way home as I began to think of the events that got me here… I am a 27year old man and I had being with approximately 200 women before today, and that was when I cleared my slate before I met this woman who wrecked my game… That was approximately 16women per year starting from when I was 15years old.

There was no attachment, I loved only one person throughout my entire life and that person was me, I loved no one else and no I couldn’t care less…I was happy that way and I wasn’t bothered…
The 3rd girl I was with told me I had a massive ego and one day someone was going to wreck it and bring me down.. I only smirked as I said, I have ego as high as a mountain… Even 10dynamytes won’t be enough, that was before I dumped her for her hotter sister…

I thrived on that, I thrived on my ego, and I went with that, I knew nothing could stop me and I could get any gal I wanted anywhere, anytime… The funny thing is, my belief and ego helped me at my work place… I was unstoppable, money wasn’t my problem obviously neither were women…

I met Alicia at a get together, I was driving off and she flagged me down for a ride, she was hot so obviously I decided to drop her off…we talked for a bit and I got her number… From there it was a piece of cake, lol yeah I happen to be  that good.

I always told my gals never to fall for me, I am an ass, and I care about no one… I told Alicia and she was cool with it , that was awkward cos most gals tried to make me fall and care but not Alicia, she did everything differently and before I knew it I was playing to her tune…

I started calling her every day, both mornings and nights till it became more like an addiction, I wanted to see her every -day, and time just seemed to move slowly until I saw her….

Most days I wake up and it’s like something is missing in my life until i speak to her, like a junkie in need of drugs, she became my addiction, this went on for 8months till I forgot who I was. The man i was tried to fight my heart from taking over but mehn I was smashed, I was in love and damn I didn’t give a freak, it was an awesome feeling.
This continued for awhile and I started letting go of things I wouldn’t normally have taken, there was a particular day I called her about 5times but she didn’t pick up, she picked up at the 6th try and when I asked what happened she said she was typing a text and she knew I was gonna call back, so she just let it ring, I could hear my inner man saying #let her go, let her freaking go, but hell I didn’t care.. i didn’t listen, and gradually i stopped hearing him speak altogether.

She started ignoring my calls whenever she felt like, but I didn’t mind as long as she picked up the phone finally , she hung up a lot on me but I didn’t mind either, we had arguments but I always called her to settle the disputes, I knelt down to beg most days but I guess that’s what men do when in love yh? You may call me useless and  silly but you may never understand it if you have never had an addiction, you don’t stop till you get the drug you are addicted to, i was crossing over to obsession, i knew it, my inner man kept faintly telling me, but hell i didn’t care.

All she had to do was call me to come over and I went running to her, but if I needed her to come over I needed to ask like 2days in advance and even when I did ask and i called her on the d-day she said stuffs like oh we were supps to hang out? Something came up, I forgot, you come instead…

Yes babe I always replied as I went running To her, nothing was ever wrong…she did no wrong in my eyes, at least she was all mine. Very soon I needed her permission to kiss her, we never beg for affection the man I once was kept screaming but I barely heard him…it got so bad i got thrown bits of affection, she let me kiss her if i was good that day, when she felt like and if she wanted to, when she wanted to. there were times i poured out my mind to her and with soulless eyes she just said okay, i needed to make her feel more i thought, that would solve the problem.. #you irritate me says my inner man but I was okay, I was in love, I didn’t mind, I didn’t give an f.

One day she called me over and sat me down, honey you are all over me, she said, I need to breathe+ I don’t think am attracted to you physically anymore, but I still want you in my life, I wanna look for physical attention elsewhere, but you can continue being in my life, and being around when i need you….

I didn’t mind, I was cool with it, I told her to just never lie to me, and I was gonna be there till we figured out this phase, In my mind she was just taking space, I wasn’t bothered, it happened….
I was still in love, I had changed but I didn’t care.. It continued till that very day, till I had a jolt of realization, its funny how it takes just a lil thing to wake a man up yh?….

I shook my head as I realized I had been sitting at the front of my gate for almost two hours, I got up as I looked at myself at the Window of the glass house opposite mine. I was ashamed of what I had become, I was a wreck and I bowed down my head and let the tears flow out …..

I cried for 20mins before going in to freshen up….the man I used to be beckoned to me and said now can I come out? Are u done with this disgusting behaviour… Without fighting and without any argument I let him, screw love, love did suck

I looked at myself in the mirror, and I picked up my phone, she still hasn’t called back, the game was on and I knew what I had to do…. I looked at her picture as I said to it like I was talking to her….

“I will stay, I will be with you, I will make you fall for me, I will cross all your hurdles, I will make it seem u are the only woman on earth with the amount of love I will give u, I will stand by you, then when I am completely certain u have fallen for me , on the day u need me the most, the day you finally decide it’s me you want, and it’s me you can’t do without…
I will leave you hanging dry, i will make sure I shatter your miserable heart into a million pieces u fucking whore from the pit of hell…
And then I will hope you die in misery… and hopefully i shall be watching this happen with glee and ultmost joy in my eyes, and when misery does take you, i shall make sure your tombstone clearly states- here lies a stupid b***h.

And that was it…

Henry… That was it?? No no what the hell happened to her, complete the story, what happened?

Haha I replied, u know my girlfriends name is Martha now, what do you think happened!? Figure it out yourself man.

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3 thoughts on “Alicia – part oneish

  1. Pingback: Alicia- Part Twoish | PETERBRAKLI'S BLOG

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