I woke up very early THIS Saturday morning and put on my cable and TV in order to watch a movie; and to my utter and genuine amazement, I had been cut off! What nonsense! I paid for this stuff approximately 2 weeks back with money I could have used to do better stuffs. Believe me I was pissed! I am definitely gonna go to their office to ask for an explanation, anyway this was not gonna cut it, I thought to myself, I was definitely gonna go for blood. Well I chilled a little till the timing was decent, had my bath and all, wore my battle jeans and t-shirt (RED to be precise).
I took off around 10am, still angry thou coz I planned on doing other things this morning so you can understand why this particular morning I wasn’t in a very good mood.Well i had no choice, i had to sort it out today, so i left home.
I BOARDED a vehicle, sat in the second seat, put my earphones in my ears and started staring at vehicles passing by, anyway we got a little into the journey and as usual the conductor started asking for his money.
I happened to notice a very old man in-front giving the conductor 500n, i looked away and continued staring at vehicles after paying my own fare, some minutes later I heard noises in the vehicle, I took off my earphones and I heard the old man asking for his change saying he gave the conductor 1000n! The noise was becoming unbearable and I decided to make a very simple mistake! I Nosed into what wasn’t my business and told the old man; but sir, it was 500n you gave him now, I saw it! That was all I did wrong, the old man just started with me: you are a foolish boy! Am sure you are both in it together… and so many other things in Yoruba I couldn’t understand… seemed like incantations though… but I wasn’t fazed… I did the yimu sign with my mouth;
My mumsi is a pastor I thought to myself! My girlfriend herself is a pastor! And if it becomes necessary I will pray and put bible under my pillow before I sleep!+ i dint BELIEVE those stuffs self- (hehe I bad like that)….. and blocked my ears with my earphones after hearing him say he will show me. if not for his old age, well…….( ˘˘̯)
I was so gonna pour all the anger at the cable office!i thought to myself, after-all if they hadn’t cut me off unjustly, i wouldn’t have embarked on this journey, nywaiz.. When I got to my stop, I was still very pissed, sitting at the edge of the door was a babe who was kainna large she blocked the doorway, the fact that she was even occupying half my seat did not even get me pissed, what got me angry was the fact that instead of her coming down for me to pass, she now moved and left one tiny space and told me to pass! not even putting into consideration she was extra-large! Anyway after what seemed like a battle I struggled to come down, no i even had to time it right and dive-out of the bus!!!!!
I almost tore my shirt self! and with anger I cursed under my breath; all these freaking large babes self, am sure this one already swallowed her house this morning! But my earphones were still in my ears and what I thought I mumbled to myself, was me actually screaming! i looked up and saw People laughing and laughing but the lady did not find it funny, she started cursing, and swearing at me! she also said stuffs and told me I will see myself…. Hian yimu again, I thought to myself, all these people are jokers, nothing can happen to me + I rilly don’t BELIEVE in all those stuffs. Well anyway I went to the cable office with extreme anger now, and what happened there is probably a story on its own. I do not know how many people I pissed off that day, I was on a roll.
When I was done I went to see my friend at badagry, No I traveled to see him because that place was extremely far! I got home a little late that DAY…. I got in around 9pm precisely.
When I opened the gate, there was no-one home, everybody had gone for night vigil… if only I had gone with them, then probably … anyway I closed the gate and looked Up, The first thing I saw was an extra-large bat! I took off with full speed as the bat flew off, I didn’t wait to find out where it was flying to, I hadn’t seen that size of bat before, i ran because of the size and not because i was scared or because i thought it was evil- or so i was tryyna make myself BELIEVE.
(Believe it or not, thats exactly how large the bat was, even larger than that self, its what i saw, and thats why i ran…. so don’t argue)
Phew I thought as I entered my house; they can’t touch me, I said as I thought of all the people I offended that morning and were probably after me! I got in and put on the generator, took a shower, ate , put on my television, the cable was working! They should have not done it now; I thought to myself, my bb battery was about 50pcnt so I plugged in, immediately I plugged it, the charger blew!NO it exploded actually! Almost burnt my phone and my hand as well….hmmm I thought to myself…. I definitely needed to pray tonight……
So later in the night I was still feeling fly, having a good-time watching a movie and pinging, when the gen suddenly went off! I went to check what was wrong with it and apparently there was no more fuel; damn I already forgot I was to get more fuel! I thought, anyway I went to my room opened one of the windows coz of the heat and continued pinging till about 12am, and that was when my network decided to vanish! Freaking MTN! O well I thought, my battery was just 10pcnt anyway, time to sleep! In anger and because of my circumstance I forgot to pray or put my bible under my pillow as I thought I was gonna do. The heat was kind of unbearable, so I removed my shirt and decided to open my other window and sleep well.
I was sleeping peacefully when I felt something on my body, it felt comfy so I made myself more comfortable on the soft pillow-like stuff, man it was comfortable and my sleep was getting better!part of the stuff even seemed cold and It was even moving round my body with its softness! Then It just hit me in my sleep that I had no pillow as soft as that, so I opened my eyes lazily to check what it was…And then I saw it…
Well on a normal day and under normal circumstances after seeing two RED shiny eyes in my room I would probably have calmly shouted WT Flip is this! But circumstances differ, first they were shiny RED EYES! It was night, I was alone, and there was no light! I jumped up from my bed with a speed I know wasn’t humanly possible and started running and shouting ahhhhhhhhhh and BLOOD OF JESUS! Round the house, I was scared as hell; my heart was beating as fast as I was running! I ran and ran round the same spot! I kept hitting stuffs and getting up as I ran! I dint even know where I was running to in particular, I kept running, PRAYING and looking behind me, I saw those red eyes still following me….then I started screaming Blood of Jesus! with even more vigor, I shouted that about 5timez, before I hit my guitar that was beside the wall, I couldn’t see so when I bumped into it I just felt it was a miracle, I sharply picked it up, now I had a weapon, as quickly as I picked it I heard a MEOW! WT Flip I thought, it was a cat? A freaking cat? Well under normal circumstances I don’t believe cats are evil.
*And if we were in china, i would have just picked up my butcher knives beside my bed and screamed bush-meat and maybe this is what i would have done to the cat…………….
(beta cat pepper soup–too bad this isn’t china)
But offend more than 5 people in the morning who want to show you, then a cat climbs your bed around 1am under mysterious circumstances, my friend, its definitely a witch!…. I had heard a lot of stories; cats were the major instrument for witchcraft. Even though i still felt i didn’t believe I started mumbling prayers; whoever this witch or wizard was, it was gonna dye by fire! As I was praying the eyez kept coming close, I opened one eye while praying so as to monitor itz movement, I was carrying my guitar on my other hand, so I was praying, holding my guitar on one hand and also moving back, the red eyed and presumably evil cat kept following me, I moved back slowly still mumbling my prayers till my back hit the wall! Nowhere to run! And it still kept coming, well I forgot the prayer and I raised my guitar and AIMED at the eyes and smashed it, I kept smashing over and over again, without looking, I heard cat had nine lives so I hit this thing 10 times,hit it again for behaving like a witch! Then hit it again because I felt like! I hit it till I couldn’t see those red eyes again…… nywaiz I stumbled back in the darkness to my room, picked up my phone, so I would use the flash from the camera to see,i looked around my room and saw my windows opened, obviously that’s where the cat came from, it was no witch; i thought to myself and went back to the sitting room , I took the guitar and placed it on the cat. I went back to my room to try get some sleep, but I couldn’t, as I was beginning to drift away in sleep, a loud knock at my door woke me up again, I was wondering who it could be because it was just 5am, I thought It was my peeps who went for vigil, so I took my almost dead phone and went to check who it was, I saw the dead cat on my way to open the door and laughed ,saying sarcastically; see the witch that wanted to kill me! I opened the door and saw my neighbor’s daughter crying —-please have you seen my CAT?
#NO WAY-( ˘˘̯)
Well to protect her from the psychological damage and trauma seeing her dead and battered cat may have caused her, i did the most honorable thing anybody would have done, I Lied!! i told her; No hunnai, i haven’t! I thought to myself as I used flash from my phone to look at her crying face; damn I have gone to kill someone’s cat! Well i knew it wasn’t a witch anyway, thank goodness there was no light if not she would have seen her cat and probably collapsed in-front of my own house, I pointed my phone back to where I just saw the dead cat, to see how i could hide it in-case she wanted to come in, but what i saw shocked me…… I could have started crying at that particular moment, goose pimples so large they were itchy appeared on my body, i could barely breath, I could only see my broken guitar where the cat was supposed to be! the freaking cat was gone!!!!!! i started to think; could the cat have been a witch? Do those things exist? No i refuse to believe stupid superstitions! Then it occurred to me; How come my neighbor allowed his daughter out this early in the morning? He never allowed her go out during the day self! In-fact his daughter traveled 2 days back! I gulped in a very large lump that had gathered in my throat, it refused to go in, i gulped in again, it still refused to go in!!!I pointed my phone back to look at my neighbor’s daughter again…. BUT THERE WAS NO ONE THERE!!! At that moment my phone beeped!
I looked at it-LOW BATTERY-it was going off! sheez why now? I thought to myself, just as my phone went off I heard a sound in the darkness that sent a shiver down my spine –MEOW!!!!
Now ask yourself, Do you BELIEVE?
#Thank me later for arranging the story like this……before some wonderful peeps will come and start blaming me for not being able to sleep tonight, because they had to lock their windows ——- leave your windows open if there is no light before heat will BLAZE hell out of you( ˘˘̯)— Just pray before you sleep….